


Want you to want me

by BurnInFlames



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Closeted but not homphobic Mickey, Confident and also oblivious Ian, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Insecure and shy mickey, Light Angst, M/M, May be a litle out of character too since I'm not following canon, Mentions of Ian being bipolar but not in depth like my other stories, Not related to canon at all, one sided pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-11-23 11:07:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11401260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurnInFlames/pseuds/BurnInFlames
Summary: Ever since Ian moved into the Milkovich house three years ago to rent the spare room all Mickey wants is to be alone with Ian. For the last three years he cant stop thinking about Ian and wants to ask Ian if they want to just do something on their own together like a date but he never gets the chance since Mandy is always around the house. When Mickey is sometimes alone with Ian he gets too nervous and backs out of what he really wants to ask Ian. It doesn't help that his sister or Ian don't know he is gay. After three years and an ever growing crush on Ian he takes matters into his own hands and makes a move on Ian and asks him out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this is probably a little out of character but in this story Terry was never around enough to instil so much internalized homophobia into Mickey why is why he doesn't give a shit he's gay in this story. Come to think of all my stories are like that because I hate Terry for what he did to Mickey and Mandy so he doesn't exist in my stories.
> 
> Also the title is taken from a Cheap Trick song.

Mickey had enough and he didn't know what to do anymore about his huge crush on Ian. After three years of Ian living in the Milkovich house Mickey wasn't sure how much longer he could take seeing Ian walk around shirtless anymore. Although he did appreciate the view but it left him wondering why he was so afraid to ask Ian if there was any chance he was gay. Ever since Ian moved in he had become really good friends with Ian which meant that the more he knew Ian the more his attraction to the red head grew.

The thing that stopped him from acting on that attraction to his friend was that ever since Ian moved in and they became good friends Mickey never really felt like Ian would see him as more than a friend. Ian had moved in three years ago when he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder to get away from his family. He also knew from what Ian told him that his family disowned him because he was bipolar which Mickey thought was a shitty move from Ian's family and he also said it to Ian.

He knew that Ian was stable for three years and worked in a gym on the northside and he also worked out a lot since he told Mickey he did it because he didnt want to gain weight due to the meds. The whole thing just made Mickey wonder if Ian knew the effect he was having on him but Mickey also knew that Ian was completely oblivious despite the number of times Ian caught him looking at him from across the room.

It also made Mickey wonder if Ian was gay but he was too afraid to find out for sure and for all his staring at Ian it made Mickey wonder how could Ian not notice the effect he was having on him but Mickey wasnt complaining.

* * *

 

Mickey walked from his bedroom into the kitchen in the Milkovich house to see Mandy sitting on the sofa with Ian who got home from work a while ago and they were now watching movies.

Mickey was even more surprised to see that he still never got sick of looking at Ian and wanting more with the red head. Mickey knew he was gay for years but he wasnt out at all even though Terry was killed in jail five years ago. He didnt know how Mandy would react but he knew she wouldnt care since Ian told them both that he was gay and she was still friends with Ian.

When Mickey heard that bit of information it just made his long term crush on Ian stronger especially when Ian got lean and muscular and still kept that figure even after his bipolar diagnosis. As Mickey stood in the kitchen making himself some food he kept sneaking glances over at the red head to the point that it was a distraction and he almost cut himself with a knife but he didnt care at all.

He blamed it on that it wasnt hard to avoid looking at Ian since he was right in his line of sight on the sofa. And if Mickey stared a little longer than he should then he didnt give a shit at all because Ian was just his type. It was times like this right now where Mickey would look at Ian and imagine having the guts to ask Ian out on a date as he listened to Mandy talk Ian's ears off about shitty guys she had to deal with at times.

Mickey decided to listen in on their conversation when Mandy asked Ian was he seeing anyone. It was times like this right now where Mickey would look at Ian and imagine having the guts to ask Ian out on a date as he listened to Ian tell Mandy that he wanted a boyfriend and he sick of one night stands. When Mickey heard Ian say that to his sister Mickey knew he would do all of that for Ian only not in that cliche way that had lame written all over it.

But Mickey knew it would never happen because Mandy and Ian both thought he was straight even though he never said he was straight. Mickey just figured it was because he passed as straight and it was known that when Terry was alive he was the biggest homophobe in the whole of Chicago. So of course no one would ever question any of the Milkovich's being gay and it always made Mickey laugh at the irony since he was hiding in plain sight right under Terry's nose for years.

Mickey just wondered how both his sister and her best friend didn't know he was gay since he never mentioned any girls or showed interest in them for as long as he could remember. It just made him wonder how did they not know he was gay since he thought it was obvious that he was gay due to the number of times he was caught staring at Ian all the time. Mandy always put it down to Mickey just being in a weird again and Ian would just laugh and be friendly to him all the time.

Mickey wasn't sure about Mandy but he knew for sure that Ian probably wouldn't care at all. But the fear of being killed for liking men instead of women was still ingrained deep inside him but he was working on getting past all of that shit. He was also too afraid to admit he was gay to anyone even though he had accepted it to himself years ago. This was mainly because he grew up in the southside which meant instant death if people found out he liked men instead of women so he never told anyone.

Mickey was interrupted from his staring at Ian who had walked past him to get a glass of water asking "hey you want to watch some movies with us" curiously. Mickey turned around and leaned against the work top looking down at the floor and not wanting to let Ian know he was eavesdropping on their conversation hesitantly replied "don't think Mandy wants me there" softly.

Mickey knew he wasn't lying since he wasn't close to his sister at all but they just occupied the same space out of necessity. Ian knew both siblings weren't close at all so he softly grinned but didn't look away from Mickey replying "I want you there" firmly. Mickey looked up in surprise to see Ian meant it before glancing over his shoulder and replying "I don't know" shyly.

Ian rolled his eyes and wasn't having it and stepped closer as he lightly squeezed Mickey's shoulder with his hand looking him replying "come on, she wont mind since you've hung out with us before" softly before walking past Mickey and sitting back down on the sofa with his refilled glass of water. Mickey groaned and put his food on a plate and seeing Mandy was sitting in the armchair beside the sofa he sat beside Ian while trying to ignore the way he subconsciously sat closer to Ian.

He couldn't ignore it when he thought he felt Ian moving closer to him instead of away from him so he just ate his food in silence as they watched the movie. But when he felt Ian's whole side from his shoulder right down to his ankle press against his own he knew he wasn't imagining Ian sitting right up against him on the sofa. Mickey sneakily glanced over at Ian and tried to hide his smile by eating his food in silence and he hated himself for being too afraid and shy to tell Ian he liked him as more than a friend.

What Mickey likes most about Ian is that he is funny but doesn't realize it along with his dorky lame jokes that aren't funny and he takes no shit from anyone especially his asshole siblings who he doesn't talk to anymore. Mickey just loves that Ian is part of his family with Mandy and his other brother Iggy who is never really around anymore but he always got on better with his brother than his sister.

Mickey also likes that Ian laughs at his snarky comments that no one else finds funny but for some reason seem to amuse Ian to no end. Mickey doesn't get how he manages to make Ian laugh so much and also not realize the big crush he has on the red head. Mickey hates that he would laugh at anything Ian said to him. He hates that Ian could read from a phone book and he would still love it because he just loves the sound of Ian's voice and looking at him too especially when he walks around the house shirtless.

Mickey just hates that he never gets the chance be alone with Ian and when he is alone with Ian he bottles out of what he really wants to say or they always get interrupted. He really wishes he could just ask Ian to hang out just two of the alone but he never did because he got too nervous. The fact they keep getting interrupted just made Mickey think that he will never be able to ask his friend out on a date.

He finished off his food before putting the empty plate on the table and leaned back to see Ian look at him with a soft smile before he nudged him with his shoulder as they went back to watching the TV. Mickey silently looked at Ian thinking that he was fucked for life because there was no way he was ever getting over Ian so he decided he was going to do something about it once and for all.

He just needed to get Ian alone without his nosy sister in the way as usual but he knew working up the nerve to ask Ian out was easier said than done. As he quickly looked over at Ian again he wondered how would he get Ian alone because there was no way he doing it when Mandy was around so she could laugh at him when Ian rejected him in the nicest way possible.

* * *

 

A week later and Mickey was sitting at the table in the kitchen eating some food trying to work out a plan to talk to Ian. It helped that Mandy was out of town for a week with a friend she had from work. Mickey loved that because it meant Ian would be around for the next seven days which was the perfect time to ask Ian out on a date because they would both be alone with no interruptions.

As Mickey noticed Ian walk in the front door and walk straight to his bedroom after coming back from work Mickey found he was getting nervous and anxious. He wondered if Ian was even going to stay home since Mandy wasnt here and they normally went out most nights. He knew they always went to some gay clubs up on the northside and even though Ian always asked him if he wanted to go with them Mickey always said no to the redhead and pretended not to notice the dissapointed look on Ian's face.

But Mickey did notice and he hated that he was so insecure and so afraid of going to a gay bar with Ian. He also thought he wouldnt be able to handle it when other guys would be flirting with Ian. Mickey hated those guys because he wished he could have that confidence to go after what he wanted but he always felt like he wasnt good enough for Ian so he just secretly admired Ian from a distance.

He didnt even know he wasnt alone in the kitchen anymore until Ian sat on the other side of the table with a plate of food for his dinner asking "hey you okay, kind of spaced out there" curiously. Mickey blankly looked at him before clearing his throat replying "uh yeah" lightly not adding just thinking about your red headed ass. Ian softly laughed as he ate his food before replying with relief in his voice "so uh, no Mandy, I know its horrible but I'm glad of the peace and quiet" as he laughed at his own words.

Mickey couldnt help but laugh resting his elbows on the table replying "yeah tell me about it, wish she would go away more often" lightly and Ian nodded in agreement. They ate the rest of their food in comfortable silence and as Mickey stared at his plate the whole time he didnt notice the way Ian kept looking at him as if he were trying to figure something out about Mickey.

They finished eating and Mickey decided to just ask "you got plans for later" curiously. Ian shook his head as he ran his hand through his hair which Mickey noticed as Ian told him "nah, some guys from work wanted to go out but I said I'd pass because I had other plans" softly. Mickey slightly laughed "that bad huh that you gotta lie to them" humouredly.

Ian groaned letting his hands fall on his lap looking at Mickey almost growling in disgust "they're a bunch of straight douchebag guys that perve on women and treat them like shit they same way my older asshole brother does, dont want to be around that shit at all" icily. Mickey almost laughed asking "take it they dont know your gay, they probably will if you keep avoiding them" curiously.

Ian shook his head replying "no but I dont care what they think or if they find out, I like what I like and I'm not apologizing for my sexuality" firmly. Mickey nodded in agreement "fucking right you shouldnt" as a voice in his mind told him he was a hypocrite since he was still in the closet but he ignored it. Ian leaned forward resting his head on the table letting out a tired groan before sitting up asking "you want to watch some TV and smoke some weed" curiously.

Mickey slightly smiled quickly replying "yeah sure, let me go get the weed" as he stood up and went to his bedroom to get the weed from his drawer. When Mickey walked away he didnt see Ian look at him over his shoulder with a longing stare before he grabbed a glass of water and sat on the sofa. Ian had only sat down when Mickey sat closely beside him so their shoulders and arms were touching when Mickey lit up a joint which they shared as they silently watched a movie and enjoyed each other's company.

By the time the movie was over Ian had slouched down in his seat and stretched his legs out in front of him and was resting his head on Mickey's shoulder trying to stay awake. Mickey knew Ian had done that halfway through the movie but he didnt have it in him to push Ian away because he liked it a lot. He liked that they were alone and that Ian was nearly lying on top of him and the smell of weed mixed with Ian was just too intoxicating and he didnt want it to end.

He didnt want Ian to move because Ian was never like this with him when Mandy was around and he hated that there were only six days left until she came back home and it would be back to reality. He hated it because Ian would be back to his normal self when Mandy was around the house and would no longer do things like rest his head on his shoulder, hug him, lean against him and move closer to him so they were pressed right up against each other.

And the best thing about it was that Ian never apologized for it despite not knowing about the raging crush Mickey had on the red head. When the movie was over they both sat there in silence lost in their own thoughts and Ian wondered why he could never have what he had right here with Mickey. Ian just hated that Mickey saw him as a friend and he didnt even know he was gay or straight.

Ian decided he had enough torture for one night because as nice as this was it just made him realize he was alone and he hated it so much. He hated that even Mandy got to have that with her friend from work because he just felt so envious at times. Ian decided to go to bed and sat up when Mickey rested his hand on his lower back and when Ian looked a him Mickey anxiously bit his lip deciding he was going to put himself out of his misery and tried not to picture Ian laughing at him and then rejecting him too.

When Ian noticed Mickey looked like he wanted to say something Ian turned in his seat asking "you okay" curiosly. Mickey let his hand fall away from Ian's back hating the loss of contact shyly looking at Ian's chest becaue it was easier to ask "you want to hang out some night, go to a bar or something" in a whisper hoping Ian wouldnt laugh at him and tell him never in a millions years.

Ian looked surprised as he wasnt expecting it but still looked at Mickey trying to keep himself from smiling quickly telling him "yeah sure, will the other guys be there" curiously. Mickey knew Ian meant Mandy's friends as he saw them around the house a few times before they all left the house for the night with Mandy and Ian. Ian was the only one who always asked him to go with them but Mickey always made some excuse as to why he wasnt going to the bar with them despite Ian's disappointment.

It always surprised Mickey that Ian was the only one who looked disappointed while the rest of the group looked relieved and Mandy just didnt care as they didnt want him there at all except Ian. Mickey looked at Ian and almost slapped himself hating that he was so nervous as a voice in his mind told him he was fooling himself to ever think Ian would be interested.

Mickey hesitated but ignored the voice while forcing out "uh no, it will be just us, just thought we dont really know each other you know since you know" softly not adding I just want to know you and we never really get to hang out alone. There was short silence before Mickey shrugged his shoulder looking at the floor deciding fuck it nervously adding "just thought it would be cool if we hung out since we've never really gotten to hang out alone until now" not adding because I just want to be alone with you.

Ian grinned at him even his eyes were smiling while nodding his head and he didnt look away from Mickey replying "yeah okay cool, we'll do that the weekend" firmly not hiding how happy he was at getting to know Mickey a little more away from Mandy. Mickey looked at Ian trying to remain calm but the smile threatening to break across his face was putting a stop to it so he looked at Ian hoping he didnt notice how surprised he looked replying "good" firmly.

Ian grinned at him resting his hand on Mickey's knee lightly squeezing it replying "cant wait" firmly. Mickey defensively scoffed "gonna show me a good fucking time or something" as he felt the nerves get to him too much. Ian smiled warmly at Mickey noticing how nervous he looked replying "yeah I am" firmly knowing he couldnt wait to hang out alone with Mickey.

An easy silence fell as Ian yawned before tiredly blurting out "anyway going to go to bed, these meds make me tired" softly. Mickey softly smiled at him replying "yeah okay" noticing just how tired Ian looked as he stood up and walked into his bedroom for the night. Mickey watched Ian walk away not even trying to hide the smile on his face knowing no one was around to see it since he was alone. He sat back in his seat not even paying attention to the TV as he couldnt wait to get to know Ian some more and he also felt glad Ian didnt laugh in his face but he knew Ian would never to that to him at all.


	2. Chapter 2

It was now Friday and even though Mickey was really excited for tomorrow night he realized he had another big problem. As he walked into the empty house as Ian was at work he shut the door behind him and locked it hating that the more he thought about it he realized that Ian probably thought he asked him out as a friend. Mickey thought Ian wouldn't be interested in being with someone like him and he hated that Ian probably thought he was boring and would probably forget about tomorrow night because he wasn't interested at all.

But Mickey really wanted to come out to Ian and tell him he had a crush on him but he felt like he acted too awkwardly with his friend and he hated that he couldnt ask Ian out properly. It didnt help that he wanted to ask Ian out without actually saying the words of will you go out with me and he realized Ian probably wasnt interested at all especally since he fucked off to bed pretty quickly.

But Mickey doubted that bit since he knew just how tired the meds made Ian so he gave the red head the benifit of the doubt and decided to believe Ian was just genuinely tired. As Mickey grabbed some food he just felt pissed off that he ruined his chance and couldnt stop thinking just how much he fucked up with Ian who probably didnt think of him the way he thought of Ian. It didnt help that he hadnt really seen Ian since he was working extra shifts to get extra money so they hadnt really spoken at all.

It didnt help the doubts in Mickey's head that Ian changed his mind and was avoiding him in the hope Mickey would get the message. Mickey couldnt help think that Ian had either forgotten or was just plain not interested and didnt know how to tell Mickey that he changed his mind about tomorrow night. He also thought Ian was avoiding him in the hope he would get the message that he wasnt interested and it meant that Mickey was just in the worst mood ever all day.

Mickey stood in the kitchen noticing all the dirty dishes and decided to clean them only because he wanted to distract himself from feeling like shit while thinking he was an idiot for thinking Ian would ever be interested. As Mickey finished what he was doing he let out a frustrated sigh thinking it was probably for the best that Ian changed his mind. As he put the now dried glasses and plates into the press he harsly slammed the presses shut feeling really angry now and when he heard someone walk up behind him he knew it was Ian straight away.

Mickey turned around and looked at the floor waiting for the rejection and the excuses as Ian grabbed a glass of water asking "we still okay for tomorrow night" curiously. Mickey looked up at the man not expecting that question as he was waiting for Ian to make up some excuse as to why he had to cancel tomorrow night. Mickey faltered as he looked around the room and nodded anxiously replying "uh yeah we are" hoping he didnt sound as nervous as he felt.

Ian stood in from of him while grinning at him noticing Mickey's nervousness wondering why he looked like he was about to be rejected when Ian stepped closer resting his hand on Mickey's arm not looking away from him asking "you think I'd forget" humoredly. Ian didnt add that it was all he had been thinking about for the last forty eight hours since Mickey asked him on Wednesday night. Mickey tried not to focus too much on Ian's hand on his arm blurting out "fuck you" defensively.

Ian laughed and ignored Mickey's defensivness knowing Mickey probably thought he did forget and he didnt look away honestly telling the dejected looking person in front of him "I didnt and I've been looking forward to it so much but I've been working extra shifts to save some more money" firmly. Mickey softly chuckled thinking he was an idiot while looking at the floor hating that he felt all shy at Ian's admission before replying "yeah its still happening" firmly.

Ian's grin got even wider and even his eyes were smiling at him replying "cool cant wait, we'll have some weed and beer before we leave so we wont have to buy over priced drinks" not hiding just how much he meant it. Mickey softly laughed shaking his head in disbelief at that Ian may have picked up on the fact that he was asking Ian on a date considering the person in question was grinning at him and looked excited for tomorrow night.

Mickey looked over Ian before asking "so you staying or going again" curiously wondering if Ian was working another shift. Ian stepped a little closer as he drank his glass of water before looking at Mickey replying "finished work for the next week, wanted to get some more shifts in before I took some time off, also got my therapy in half an hour and have to pick up more meds but after that I'm all yours untill next week" firmly with a soft smile.

Mickey softly laughed while looking at the floor and crossing his arms over his chest "thought you'd be working again" softly trying to hide the warm feeling he felt at Ian's words. Ian shook his head as he put the empty glass on the counter behind Mickey replying "nah, I dont take much time off, its horrible but I wanted to be off when Mandy isnt here so she wont be dragging me off to places I dont want to go" not adding I just wanted to be alone with you for a few days.

Mickey laughed as he rubbed his face with his hand telling his friend "dont tell her that, she'll fucking kill you" humoredly. Ian rolled his eyes replying "I wont tell if you wont" lightly. Mickey looked at Ian replying "okay tough guy, I wont" firmly. An easy silence fell as they decided to get something to eat and they were sitting at the kitchen table when Ian hesitantly asked "would you come with me to my therapy, dont really want to go on my own" shyly.

Mickey looked at Ian replying "yeah you know I will" firmly knowing that he had done it for Ian before in the past when Ian didnt want to be there alone. They put their empty plates in the sink and left the house talking and laughing about things as they fell into their usual easy conversations. As they walked down the street Mickey was surprised at how easy it was for his bad mood to disappear whenever Ian was around and they both were together on their own without anyone else. Mickey just still felt nervous about telling Ian he had huge crush on him and that he was gay even though he knew Ian wouldnt care about him being gay.

* * *

 

Now that Mickey had some time to let the fact that Ian accepted his invitation the other night he was starting to freak out a little as he wondered if he should tell Ian what was on his mind. He tried to distract himself but it was hard when Ian was sitting pressed right against his side as they sat on the sofa. He kept glancing over at Ian whose attention was glued to the TV screen hating that he felt more and more anxious by the second.

Another fear he had was that Ian would reject him and it just made him want to put off telling Ian about everything he planned to tell Ian. Mickey felt Ian elbow him in the ribs and looked up to see Ian with a concerned expression asking "you okay, kind of zoned out there for a bit" lightly not adding I was talking to you and you didnt answer. Mickey scoffed as he looked down at the floor not even caring he was leaning against Ian replying "yeah I'm fine, just thinking about shit" knowing it was true.

Ian slightly nodded as they shared some weed and he looked at his friend asking "you mind if we just hang out here for the night, not really in the mood for a bar right now" curiously not adding kind of just want to be alone with you. Mickey leaned his head against the back of the sofa as he looked at Ian with a small smile replying "yeah okay, fine by me" softly not adding I'd much prefer that then going to the bar.

Mickey really was relieved because he didn't really like the loud music, the big crowd and the flashing lights that made his anxiety in public spaces shoot through the roof and give him a headache in the process. When Ian grinned back at him and slouched down in his seat and rested his head on Mickey's shoulder and stretched his legs out in front of him he was glad that their plans had changed for the night.

Mickey slouched a little and leaned into Ian who was glued to his side and he tried not to slightly smile at the change of plans and the way Ian was pressed right against him like glue. Mickey wasn't really paying attention as he thought back to the time Ian moved in three years ago. He just remembered Mandy saying that his family threw him out and he needed somewhere to stay but Mickey never asked any questions because he didn't care at all and they had a spare room.

He also didn't ask Ian since he figured it was none of his business but he was still curious and he felt like he knew Ian long enough that Ian wouldn't mind if he asked him some questions. Mickey softly cleared his throat hesitantly asking "hey you mind if I ask did your family really throw you out like Mandy said they did" curiously. Even though Mickey had looked after Ian whenever his meds stopped working over the years he never actually asked Ian how he ended up moving into their house but instead heard Mandy's version and he wanted Ian's version.

Ian wondered when the bipolar would come up but he knew Mickey was just curious and not being judgmental as he stared at the floor. Ian was surprised Mandy never said anything and just moved him into her house with no explanation for anyone else living in the house. Ian knew when his own family found out about his disorder they told him he was another Monica that they didn't want to deal with him since once was enough and for Ian that hurt a lot.

That day Ian left the house and moved in with Mandy and Mickey where he lived for the last three years and he never saw his family again. Now he was just scared it was going to happen again even though his therapist told him to give a Mickey a chance because he may turn out to not be like Ian's family. Ian had a feeling Mickey didn't know anything at all about before he moved in because he knew Mickey was never the nosy type.

Ian let out a soft sigh deciding to be honest so it would hurt less forcing out in a small voice "as you know I'm bipolar, it started when I was around seventeen, I didn't accept it until I was nineteen, kind went off the rails for a while before I got stable" softly. Ian braced himself for Mickey telling him to get out but he knew it wouldn't happen since Mickey was always around when his meds packed in and he needed new ones.

He knew Mickey was his other best friend because he always looked after him when it mattered but there was still that fear that one day both Mandy and Mickey would say they had enough and throw him out of their house. It didn't stop that fear even though both siblings told him it would never happen because they cared about him so much. Ian stayed silent as he got his thoughts together before adding " but when I got stable my family told me I was another Monica and said they werent going through that shit again and said I needed to find somewhere else to stay so Mandy let me move in here" firmly.

Ian moved closer to Mickey adding "she gave out shit to them the day she came with me to get my stuff when I left, I never seen their judgmental asses so quiet in my life" humoredly. Ian just felt defensive now and sat up in his seat while he stared at the floor and crossed his arms over chest defensively hating that he had just been so honest. He hated even more that he still felt hurt over his family disowning him even though he knew it said more about them than it did about him and being bipolar.

Mickey turned in his seat so his chest was pressed against Ian's arm when he told him "said it before but you dont need those assholes, its not your fault you got this shitty disorder" firmly. Ian turned to face his friend wondering how they ended up sitting so close together as he softly smiled "I know" firmly. Mickey knew all about Ian's disorder, he had been there when the meds stopped working and had to take care of Ian and he didnt understand how his family couldnt see there was more to Ian than bipolar disorder.

Ian still looked visibly surprised and tightened his arms that were still crossed over his chest like he was trying to hug himself softly before looking down sadly whispering "it is what it is really" in a whisper. Mickey noticed the sadness and defeated tone in Ian's voice so he reached over and wrapped his arms around Ian's shoulders replying "as you know if you need anything just ask" firmly.

Ian nodded still looking at the floor replying "thanks" softly but he still leaned into his friend taking comfort in the warm body heat. Mickey got the sense Ian didnt want to talk about it so they fell into a silence as they watched the TV. Ian broke the silence when he bitterly scoffed deciding he might as well push Mickey away before he left like everyone else did as he almost hissed with nothing but hurt in his voice "they dont want to know me, they can barely accept me, keep comparing me to Monica" icily.

Mickey still looked at Ian replying "dont need them then and I'm not leaving, we're fucking friends" firmly but not adding would like to be more than friends. Ian looked over not hiding his shocked expression before laughing when he saw Mickey meant it and wasnt going anywhere as he hesitantly asked "really" hoping Mickey didnt hear how scared he sounded.

Mickey did notice but didnt comment as rested his other hand on Ian's stomach looking at him replying "really, I hang out with you alone more than I do with Mandy and her friends" firmly. Ian slightly laughed knowing that was true as they silently looked at each other. Ian looked at Mickey silently wondering if Mickey was even gay because he noticed the way Mickey kept looking at him sometimes and also when they were alone.

Even though Ian never wanted any relationships with anyone out of pure fear of abandonment at the words bipolar disorder he realized over the last few months that he wanted all of that with Mickey. Ian decided there was only one way to find out and asked "is there any chance you like guys" shyly. Mickey blinked not expecting that question but didnt hide the small grin on his face mumbling "yeah, how did you know" curiously.

Ian heard it and rolled his eyes while he slightly laughed looking at his friend while softly nudging him in the ribs with his elbow replying "I didn't but I just hoped you did" shyly not adding I caught you looking at me sometimes. Mickey was speechless and didn't know what to say as he felt Ian hold his hand between where they were sitting on the sofa and he looked down at their hands blurting out "I didn't think anyone knew, never really accepted it until now especially since Terry's been dead for a long time" softly.

Ian lightly nodded thinking that it made sense replying "totally get it, I heard the stories about that homophobic asshole and I'm so glad that fucker is dead" lightly. Mickey nodding agreement replying "me too" as he looked all over Ian's face and down his body before looking at his face again trying to hide how surprised he felt at the turn of events.

Ian turned sideways in his seat moving a little to closer to Mickey asking "so the rumours were true, all the fag bashes" curiously. Mickey rested his hand on Ian's ribs as he scoffed "fuck yeah, hated that I had to go on some of them, got sick of it and when the asshole landed in jail and got killed in prison, I decided I wasn't lying to myself anymore but it took a while to accept it but I'm nearly there with other people knowing, was going to tell you tonight but you got there first" softly.

Ian softly laughed replying "sorry I ruined it for you" lightly. Mickey slightly smiled as he looked at Ian telling him "nah you didn't" lightly. Mickey couldn't stop himself from talking some more about the homophobic shit he had to put with growing up but he knew it was nice to talk to someone about it especially since Ian grew up in the same place. They had been talking for another while when Mickey blurted out "I hope I'll be okay with it some day" knowing he could do it if Ian was able to do it years ago.

Ian looked at his friend deciding he had enough of talking blurting out "I like you a lot, more than a friend should probably" softly. Mickey slightly laughed as he bit his lip looking down at Ian's stomach shyly blurting out "yeah me too, was going to tell you that too but again you got there first" lightly. Ian softly laughed at the fact he ruined it all for Mickey replying "sorry" lightly. Mickey softly laughed "its fine" lightly as he wondered why the hell was he freaking out much earlier in the day.

They silently looked at each other before Ian decided he had enough of this silence between them as he quickly moved to kiss Mickey while sliding his arm over his waist pulling them closer on the sofa. Mickey wasn't expecting it and froze before he kissed back and wrapped his arm over Ian's ribs as they made out intensely on the sofa for a while before moving things to the bedroom for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a 4th chapter to this story and its the last one since this one just got too long.

A few nights later Ian managed to drag Mickey to one of the more quiet gays bars on the northside to make up for backing out on going out the bar the other night. It didn't matter that Mickey told him he wasn't bothered they didn't go because he really enjoyed their night at home alone and how things had turned out. Mickey also really enjoyed the way Ian couldn't keep his hands off him either since they both admitted they liked each other as more than friends.

Mickey also wished he came out sooner to Ian but he figured he wasn't ready yet and it was better late than never. Mickey sat in one booths in the corner of the room as he watched Ian walk back over to their table with two bottles of beer and he almost rolled his eyes at the way Ian grinned at him the whole time. When Ian sat beside him and put their drinks on the table Mickey slightly laughed at the way Ian was grinning so he nudged Ian with his elbow as he looked at him asking "the fuck you grinning at" lightly.

Ian moved closer in his seat so he was glued to Mickey's side as he looked at him replying "nothing, just happy" softly knowing he was telling the truth because the last few days he really was happy. Mickey looked down at the table trying to hide his flushed face replying "yeah me too" softly. Ian heard it and put his arm over Mickey's shoulders pulling himself closer to Mickey who leaned into him as Ian decided to ask the question they were trying really hard to avoid.

Ian drank some of his non alcoholic beer before hesitantly asking "are we going to be the same when Mandy comes home tomorrow or do we just go back to being friends" shyly while hoping they wouldnt stop whatever it was they had between them right now. Mickey turned a little in his seat to face Ian hesitantly replying "was kind of hoping it wouldnt stop, dont really want to go back to being friends, not after the last few days" firmly.

Mickey felt surprised he just admitted that but he figured the few beers he had already made him a lot braver than he felt when it came to his feelings for Ian. Ian softly grinned at him again and he didnt look away replying "me neither" before he intensely kissed Mickey in the dimly lit corner of the bar. When they stopped to breathe Mickey nervously glanced around the room to see no one cared at all and he was surprised to find that he felt free.

No one was judging him for being gay and he actually felt safe but he had a feeling Ian had a lot to do with that too. Ian pulled him closer lightly kissing the side of Mickey's head before asking "you okay" lightly. Mickey nodded as he looked back at Ian replying "yeah just weird getting used to no one giving a shit here, wouldnt mind coming back, I like it here with you" softly.

Mickey didnt think he would ever get tired of seeing Ian smile at him as the red head told him "me too and yeah we're coming here again, just me and you" lightly. Mickey slightly laughed as he stretched his legs in front of him not even caring that Ian rested his other hand on his hip and pulled him so close that Mickey could feel Ian's warm body heat and his warm breath on the side of his face.

Mickey turned a little in his seat ignoring the awkward position he was in if it meant he was facing Ian so he slid his hand along Ian's ribs thinking he could stay here all night wrapped up in Ian in their own little bubble and just ignore the rest of the world. He internally rolled his eyes at the lame thought but at the same time he didnt care especially when Ian rested their foreheads together and kissed him intensely before blurting out "I want you a lot" not hiding the flirting from his voice.

Mickey softly laughed not even wanting to look away from Ian "yeah same here but we're kind of in public, told you we should have stayed at home" lightly. Ian groaned looking at Mickey with a heated gaze and he slid his hand under Mickey's tshirt and rested his hand on his hip not looking away from him replying "hate it when youre right" softly. Ian thought back to earlier in the day before they left the house where they lay on the sofa for most of the day just touching each other all over and kissing until they were out of breath.

That question that never really got answered was back annoying Mickey who slid his hand under Ian's tshirt and ran his thumb across Ian's hip and looked down at Ian's chest hesitantly asking "so hate to kill the mood but what do we tell Mandy when she comes back" curiously. Ian moved his hand from under Mickey's tshirt to the side of his head and when Mickey looked up at him Ian told him "that we're together, does that answer your question" firmly not hiding how much he meant those words.

Mickey bit his lip replying "yeah" as he looked up at Ian who had another grin on his face. Ian let his hand slide down to Mickey's shoulder and down his arm before sliding his hand over his waist not even looking away as he blurted out "that youre my boyfriend and all that shit" lightly. Mickey slightly laughed feeling uncomfortable with Ian staring at him with intense want and need in his eyes as he never had that from anyone before in his life.

He didnt think he ever would as he looked at Ian "yeah I get the point" firmly hoping Ian didnt catch how embarrased he felt right now. Ian did notice but said nothing about it and slightly smirked replying "good" firmly not even hiding how happy he looked or felt. Mickey didnt even bother hiding the way he looked Ian up and down appreciately before looked at Ian asking "you want to get of here" flirtatiously.

Ian slightly laughed "fuck yes, its about fucking time" lightly. Mickey raised his eyebrows as he looked at Ian while he laughed "lets get the fuck out of here" firmly. Ian nodded in agreement as he grabbed Mickey's hand in his own as he pulled them both up off their seat and left the bar for the night with their arms wrapped around each other and laughing about something stupid that happened earlier in the night at the bar.

* * *

 

Needless to say when Mandy came home the next evening she was in for a big surprise. As she walked in the door and shut it behind her she heard voices from Ian's room and rolled her eyes since before she left Ian said he was done with one night stands. She didnt know who Ian had over but she was glad that Ian was over his slump and would no longer be complaining to her about how no guy wants a relationship with him at all.

She dumped her bag in her bedroom before deciding to make some food for herself in the kitchen and watch some TV. A few hours had passed before Ian sat on the sofa that was beside the arm chair Mandy was sitting in when he asked "hey, when did you get back" curiously. Mandy looked at him scoffing "a few hours ago not that you would notice" before she laughed to herself at her comment to Ian.

Ian smirked as he looked at her sarcastically snipping "ha ha very funny" lightly. Mandy rolled her eyes as she turned the volume on the TV down before asking "so who's the guy and dont lie because I heard you" curiously. Ian couldnt stop himself from slightly smiling but didnt get to answer as Mickey just sat down beside him and glued himself to Ian's side and grinned at him before looking at his sister asking "when the fuck did you get back" curiously.

Mandy rolled her eyes wishing her brother would go away so she could talk to Ian about who the guy was replying "a few hours ago" lightly. Mickey slightly nodded before looking at Ian knowingly as he nudged Ian with his shoulder and when Ian looked at him he rolled his eyes as he remembered what he told his boyfriend last night. Mandy noticed how close they both looked and not hiding her confusion asked "seriously what the hell happened when I was away, you barely even spoke to each other before I left and now your friends, like what the fuck" lightly.

Mickey rolled his eyes at his sister knowing she was so wrong and glared at her truthfully replying "we always talked and we are friends, you just werent around to see it since you and your friends hate and ignore me" icily. Ian nudged Mickey with his shoulder as he looked at Mandy telling her "he's right" softly. Mandy ignored it figuring Mickey wasnt going anywhere since he looked too comfortable and his feet were resting on the table in front of him so she asked Ian again "so who's the guy Ian" firmly hoping Mickey would get uncomfortable with the gay talk and leave them alone.

Ian crossed his arms over his chest as he discreetly moved closer to Mickey while looking at Mandy deciding to just say it "Mickey is now my boyfriend" firmly. Mandy still looked confused as she wondered there was no way her brother was gay replying "ha ha very funny, Mickey's not gay" lightly but not hiding the confusion from her voice. Mickey scoffed as he leaned into Ian a little almost snarling "fuck you bitch" angrily.

Mickey really hated that Mandy just assumed everything about him but then she wasnt any different from anyone else when it came to assumptions about him as a person. Ian was a bit pissed off at Mandy so he put arm his around Mickey and pulled him closer to him as he told Mandy "yeah he is" firmly. Mickey scoffed at his sister "yeah I'm fucking gay and Ian's my boyfriend" angrily really wishing Mandy would just get over it and trying to hide just how hurt he felt at her words.

Mandy wasnt believing it for a second because as far as she knew there was no way her brother was gay as there was never any signs of it all over the years. Mandy thought there was no way a Milkovich would be gay since as far as she could remember was that they were all homophobic assholes with her being the exception to the rule. Mandy looked between both Ian and her brother thinking Ian was playing a prank on her as she looked at her brother with a wary expression blurting out with doubt in her voice "you know you dont have to lie for Ian and pretend youre his boyfriend when we all know youre straight" softly as she wondered how did she miss all of this if it was true.

Mickey felt a mixture of hurt and pissed off at his sister wondering who the hell was she to decide who he was a person as he glared at her telling her "fuck you and I'm not fucking pretending" angrily. Ian tightened his arm around Mickey shifting closer to him as he looked at Mandy telling her "he's not lying, we're not lying" firmly while hating that Mandy was reacting badly to this whole situation.

A silence fell as Mandy made the connection of who was in Ian's room earlier and she realized the voices she heard were from her friend and her brother and since no one else left the house she knew they were both telling the truth. Mickey took Mandy's confusion and silence for disgust at him being with Ian. Mickey looked at Ian hating that his sister was such a hypocrite and when Ian silently looked at him both of them didnt hide how hurt they both felt and looked from each other.

Mickey decided enough was enough defensively crossing his arms over his chest as he looked over at Mandy and he felt really pissed off and didnt hold back on his words angrily almost shouting "youre such a fucking hypocrite you know that, you sit here with Ian gossiping about guys and wanting to know who Ian fucked at the club but the second we say we're together you have a problem" icily.

Ian nodded in agreement as he looked over at Mandy telling her with confusion in his voice "he's got a point Mandy, I used to work as a go-go dancer and a bartender in a gay club on the weekends and I'm gay and you've no problem with that but you've a problem with Mickey being gay and us being together" firmly as he hoped she didnt notice how hurt he felt at her words.

Mandy looked from her brother to Ian as she wondered how did she miss this about her brother and that he was right in that she was just too self absorbed to notice anything else and mainly trying to stay off Terry's radar when he was alive. As the seconds passed a tense silence fell and Ian felt really protective of his boyfriend who now seemed to be shrinking into him because he felt Mickey move closer into him the more the silence dragged on.

Ian wanted answers so he shrugged his shoulder as he looked at Mandy and snapped "so what the fuck is your problem Mandy, I find someone I'm happy with and you want to shit all over it, so because youre unhappy then I should be too" angrily not hiding the coldness from his voice. Mandy shook her head replying "no I just wasnt expecting it all" hating that she couldnt get what she wanted to say out of her mouth.

She knew she was reacting badly and she hated herself for it as she let out a sigh and relaxed adding "I'm sorry for reacting the way I did, I wasnt expecting it but I can explain" firmly. She knew Ian had point but as far as she was concerned she knew her brother and there was no way Mickey was gay or at least she did until now. Mandy swallowed the dry lump in her mouth as she looked at Mickey almost whispering "Terry would have fucking killed you if he got the slightest notion you were gay" softly and she understood why he hid it for all those years.

Mickey looked at her with raised eyebrows retorting "yeah why the fuck do you think I hid it so well" angrily. Mandy moved again in her seat replying "he'd fucking kill you if he was still alive" softly. Mickey looked over at Ian whispering "no shit and he'd kill Ian too" softly knowing it was the truth while wishing he never told Mandy a thing at all now. They fell into another silence before Mandy looked at him with hurt and concern on her face that her brother had to deal with this all alone asking "why didnt you tell me" not hiding the hurt in her voice.

Mickey bit his lip and glanced at Ian before looking at Mandy replying "I wasnt sure if you were like Terry and then when Ian moved in and you were okay with it, it just got harder and harder to say it, I wanted to though, just didnt know how you would react" softly. Now Mandy really looked hurt and slightly offended as she scoffed "fuck you for thinking I'd give a shit" firmly.

There was a short silence before she added in a genuine voice "but I dont give a shit, I'm happy for you both and I'm sorry for my reaction, I just wasnt expecting it and it pisses me off that I missed it" firmly. Mickey softly laughed feeling the tension deflate from him as he glanced at Ian before looking at the floor replying "its fine" dismissively. Mandy wasnt having it as she sat forward in her seat looking at her brother "but how the hell did he not notice" curiously.

Mickey knew who Mandy meant and he didnt really feel like explaining himself to his sister replying "dont fucking know, probably too preoccupied with meth and guns to give a shit" firmly as he hoped she would just leave it at that because he didnt want to talk anymore. Mandy softly laughed as she looked at her brother replying "yeah that's a good point" lightly.

Another silence fell before Mandy added "anyway I dont give a shit but I also dont blame you for saying nothing" softly. Mickey nodded as he silently accepted her apology or at least Mandy's attempt of an apology but he didnt say any more to her as he didnt want to talk about it anymore. When Mandy turned the volume of the TV up Mickey relaxed in his seat and moved a little closer to Ian and he didnt even want to push Ian's arm that was still resting over his shoulder away as they watched a movie.

* * *

 

The next morning Ian woke up in Mickey's bed with a lot of questions on his mind as he stared at the back of his boyfriend's head while also pulling the covers up over them a little more. Ian really hated that he didnt know the turmoil Mickey was going through over the last three years while he didnt even notice it at all. Ian was broken from his thoughts when Mickey turned around and buried his face in his neck and wrapped his arms around him tightly and pulled them right up against each other.

Ian wrapped his arms around his boyfriend while softly kissing the top of his head and when he thought Mickey fell back asleep he heard "why are you awake so early" lightly. Ian softly laughed as he rested his hand on the back of Mickey's neck replying "time to get up soon" lightly. Ian just felt Mickey shuffle closer to him and tighten his grip on him sleepily replying "no you dont" while tangling their legs together under the covers.

Ian softly laughed "have to go to work soon" lightly. Mickey lightly pinched Ian's ribs with his fingers as he quickly responded "call in sick" lightly not adding because I'm not letting you leave. Ian softly laughed as he ran his hand along Mickey's back replying "took a whole week off remember" lightly. Mickey lightly kissed Ian's collarbone before he grumbled "so take another one off, tell them you got pneumonia or something" firmly.

Ian laughed knowing he would love nothing more than to do that replying "would love to but I need the money" lightly. There was short silence and Ian thought his boyfriend had gone back to sleep when Mickey moved up a little in the bed to face Ian and looked right at him sighing in defeat "fine" firmly. Ian softly smiled at his boyfriend who was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and couldnt stop himself from asking "so how come you never said anything before now" curiously.

Mickey groaned hating that Ian wanted to talk about this now as he slid his arm over Ian's waist under the covers and looked down as Ian's chest deciding to just be honest "well when youve heard so much bullshit from Terry over the years, that gays are disgusting and unnatural and how he would go on gay bashes it kind of tends to make you think everyone else is like that too" coldly.

Ian noticed the bitterness that was in his boyfriend's voice and he couldnt really blame him for it either as he lightly rubbed his fingers along Mickey's spine not really knowing what to say. Ian settled on just saying "dont blame you for it then" softly. Mickey scoffed as glanced up at Ian telling him "he would have fucking killed me, I was trying to fucking survive and fuck Mandy for making me feel like shit, she'll never get it anyway" angrily.

Ian nodded in agreement looking at his boyfriend replying "some straight people never do so how did you hide it, did Terry really not ask" curiously. Mickey rubbed his face with hand before sliding it back under the covers to rest on Ian's hip as he looked at Ian replying "it was rare he would ask but when he did then I lied, said whatever I had to say to get him leave me alone" softly.

Mickey softly smiled at Ian before looking down at Ian's lips as he lightly ran his hand along Ian's ribs taking comfort in the warm skin under his fingers. This closeness to Ian made him feel safe and wanted and while it was a strange feeling he felt like he could trust Ian dispite the way he felt too emotionally exposed since last night. But with Ian pressed right up against him from head to toe and their legs tangled up together he felt like he could do this because they were alone and he trusted Ian a lot as he continued "the fucker always left me alone, too preoccupied with guns and meth to even notice that I wasnt interested in girls at all and if he asked I just said I dont do relationships because its too much hassle" lightly.

He looked up at Ian to see his boyfriend smirking at him with an amused expression as Ian asked "too much hassle" humoredly. Ian looked at his boyfriend as he playfully mumbled "I better not be too much hassle" but there was also amusment in his expression as a soft smile rested on his face. Mickey softly laughed as he lightly pinched Ian below his ribs whispering "not you shithead" lightly not adding you could never be too much hassle.

Ian flinched as he softly laughed pulling Mickey closer to him resting his forehead against Mickey's head whispering "better not be" softly. Mickey rolled his eyes while he bit his lip and anxiously rubbed his face with hand before continuing "Terry would just laugh and say that's my boy and just leave it at that or make some creepy comment" not hiding the disgust in his voice.

Mickey glanced up at Ian "mostly told him what he wanted to hear really and if he pushed for more information I just made up some girl's name, pretended she was from a different area to where we live and that was it" lightly. Ian looked he didnt believe it at all asking "and that was it, he just left it at that" curiously. Mickey looked at his boyfriend replying "guess he didnt need visual proof and it was just easier to stay off his radar so I kept to myself all the time" lightly.

Ian felt bad his boyfriend had to go through that as he looked at him and knowing Mickey hated pity or apologies settled on saying "well you're free now, don't have to be something you're not anymore" firmly. Mickey softly laughed as he ran his hand over Ian's head replying "fucking right I dont" lightly. Mickey didnt want to talk about it anymore so he smirked at Ian asking "so that all your questions asked" humouredly.

Ian noticed they way Mickey looked uncomfortable so he softly laughed deciding to change the conversation replying "yeah for now" lightly. Mickey softly laughed as he moved to lie on his back not missing the way Ian moved with him was now half lying on top of him and buried his face in his neck. Mickey reached up to lightly pat Ian's head as he asked "you okay" curiously. Ian wrapped his arm over Mickey's waist mumbling "yeah, just thinking" lightly.

Mickey rested his other hand on Ian's hip and lightly squeezed it with his fingers asking "what about" curiously. Ian lifted his head to look at his boyfriend with a soft smile replying "just how much I like you which is a lot" not even caring he was probably moving too fast because he had no chill at all. Mickey softly laughed at Ian's eagerness as he grinned back at Ian replying "yeah I like you too" softly. Ian rested his head back down on the pillow where they lay awake in each other's company in a comfortable silence lost in their own thoughts until it was time to get up for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was never my intention to have Mandy react the way she did, I didn't meant for her to come across as homophobic in this chapter. In my original draft she is quite homophobic towards both Mickey and Ian because I wanted to show the effect Terry had on her but then I remembered its not in her character and its also hypocritical since she is friends with Ian. So I changed it and wrote her as she was in the scene in the Alibi where Ian was drunk at Mickey's wedding to Svetlana and Ian blurts out his affair with Mickey to her when Lip tries to get Ian to leave the bar. In this story I hope she just comes across as confused but accepting of her brother and Ian.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only do so much re-writing before I give up. I hope you like this final chapter. I really struggled with this one and last one too.

A month had passed and Mickey was long over freaking out especially since Ian had reassured him that they were now a couple and together in a relationship. His fear of Ian changing his mind about their relationship and his fears of not being good enough for Ian also disappeared. Mickey thought it probably helped that Ian kept his promise of they would always come back to the bar just the two of them together and no one else.

It also helped that Ian couldnt keep his hands off him when they were alone or in the quiet gay bar Ian brought him to the first night they went out together. Mickey was surprised at how much more at ease he was with going to other gay clubs with Ian. At first Mickey hated these places as he felt everyone just stared at him like he was south side trash and didnt belong in a north side establishment.

He thought it was easy for Ian since he just blended in with everyone in those places because he was friendly and outgoing and knew how to interact with people. Mickey knew he was just too awkward around people and he normally faded into the background and got ignored because he didn't know how to interact with people easily. But with Ian everything just felt easy because Ian just let him be himself and if Mickey were honest with himself Ian made him very happy.

So happy that Mickey never thought anyone would ever make him feel that way. Even though Terry was never really around that much when he was younger Mickey just lived in a world of fear because when Terry was home no one was safe from his hatred. When Terry was home Mickey just learned to stay quiet, fade into the background, only answer when spoken to and generally avoid the house too.

But when Terry was in jail and then was killed Mickey stayed at home because he hated crowded places with lots of people. He didn't have any friends because everyone hated him, they judged him on name alone and never bothered to look beneath the surface. For some reason Ian ignored all of that when he moved into the house three years ago and was the only person who gave Mickey the time of day and talked to him when they were both alone.

Ever since they got together a month ago they spent every second they could together and Mickey was surprised Mandy never said anything about it at all. They weren't hiding it either ever since that night Mandy had come home and they told her they were together. Once Mandy got over the surprise of Mickey being gay she told them she didn't care just once they were both happy.

Mickey guessed her not noticing at first was down to Mandy always being oblivious when it came to him and she was just as bad when it came to Ian. It also probably didn't help that both he and Ian were very secretive people and that was another reason why Mandy probably never asked questions. Mickey was surprised she never said anything at all since Ian was always glued to his side now when they were in the house and that he now went to the bar all the time with Ian.

He knew he was always sort of friends with Ian but they were now best friends and boyfriends who were now in a relationship. Mickey didn't know why he was surprised that Mandy didn't care at all since she didn't even comment on the fact they were always in each other's rooms all the time. But he was just glad she was happy for him and Ian because it made everything so much easier.

* * *

 

It was a Saturday night when Mickey was standing at a table at the wall in the dimly lit corner of some reopened gay club that was packed to rafters and Mickey hated that Ian had talked him into coming to this place knowing it would be too busy. There was something else he hated even more as he looked at Ian grumbling "why the fuck did you have to invite Mandy down here later" not hiding the irritation from his voice.

Ian laughed while he stood as close as possible beside Mickey placing two bottles of beer on the table in front of them before nudging his boyfriend with his elbow "I didn't, she invited herself" firmly while smirking at his boyfriend. Mickey grabbed one of the bottles as he scoffed "course she fucking did but you could have told her to fuck off, she's done it on you plenty of times" knowing that Mandy did do that from time to time.

Mickey drank his beer as he felt Ian slide right up against him and put his arm over his shoulders teasing "aw you jealous you don't have me all to yourself" lightly. Mickey scoffed again raising his eyebrows as he turned to face Ian "fuck you" before turning away to hide the tinge of embarrassment from his face so Ian wouldn't see it. Ian pulled Mickey closer to him as he looked at him while he lightly teased "yeah you do, you know you do, I know you do" lightly.

Mickey scoffed into his beer "fucking don't you asshole" lightly as he looked away from Ian to other side of the room. Mickey didn't want Ian to see the effect he had on him because there was some truth to Ian's words. It was why he couldn't keep up the pretence especially when Ian just slid his other arm across Mickey's waist and hugged him from the side while he kissed his cheek before resting their heads together mumbling into his boyfriend's ear "I want you all to myself too, you were right, should have told Mandy to fuck off" lightly.

Mickey leaned into Ian's warm chest before he turned around to stand right up against his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around Ian's back pulling them right up against each other. Mickey didn't miss the way Ian was looking at him with a warm expression as he slid his hands under Ian's tshirt to feel Ian's body heat on his hands as he looked at Ian smirking "I'm always right" confidently.

Ian laughed while keeping his arms tightly wrapped around Mickey's shoulders "if you say so" lightly while tightening his grip on Mickey. Mickey shook his head in exasperation as he looked at Ian while he snorted "drink your fucking beer would you" with no anger in his voice just tiredness from putting up with Ian's brand of humour. When Ian just grinned at him with amusement on his face Mickey couldn't help but softly laugh "you're a fucking idiot" lightly.

Ian looked over Mickey's face while he grinned "I know" in a tone that implied that he knew it but he didn't care at all just once he made his boyfriend laugh. Ian softly laughed at his boyfriend's expression and rolled his eyes but didn't move as he grabbed his non alcoholic beer off the table and drank from the bottle in silence. Mickey silently looked around the room and seeing some of the half naked dancers spread out across the club he remembered something Ian let slip that night to Mandy.

He smirked at Ian while looking his boyfriend up and down before asking "so uh that night you said you worked as a go-go dancer in one these places" lightly. Ian groaned as he drank his beer before putting the bottle on the table muttering "shit I forgot about that" lightly. Mickey laughed as he drank his beer replying "yeah so did I until you brought me here, got to say its not hard picturing it" humouredly as he let his eyes wander over Ian silently thinking Ian was way better looking than the guys in this place.

Ian stepped out of the embrace as he looked at the table while he groaned in embarrassment mumbling "shut up" lightly. Mickey noticed that Ian wasn't laughing so he stopped and rested his hand on Ian's back and lightly rubbed it with his hand "I'm sorry, I'm just taking the piss here" firmly not hiding how much he meant it. Ian turned around and seeing the apologetic look on his boyfriend's face decided to be honest "its okay, I know you are and yeah its true but it wasn't this club, it another one not far from here" shyly.

Mickey scoffed "no fucking shame in it, we all need the money and it looks like the dancers here don't give a shit anyway" firmly. Ian was surprised Mickey didn't look at him in disgust but then his boyfriend was always surprising him especially when Mickey just hugged him tightly. Ian wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders and hugged him tightly before leaning back to face Mickey who was looking back at him as he asked "so why did you quit" curiously as he lightly gripped Ian's hips with his hands.

Ian shrugged his shoulder replying "I didn't really want to because the money is good but doing this job along with my other job is just too much, it affects my meds and the day job gives me more routine and helps the meds work and keeps me stable, and as you know the meds make me tired so its better if I don't work in a bar and I like my job at the gym more anyway" lightly. Mickey was surprised Ian answered his question so honestly as he slightly nodded accepting Ian's answer.

They fell into a comfortable silence as they drank their beer and Mickey couldn't help but think back to when Ian asked him why he never told him he was gay sooner. As he silently looked at Ian who was now looking over to the other side of the room he couldn't stop himself from blurting out "you know why I never told you" softly. Ian looked at Mickey as he remembered what Mickey meant telling him "you don't have to say anything, I get it, I really do" softly.

Mickey ignored Ian's words as he gulped down some more beer before putting the bottle on the table and looking at Ian telling him honestly "I never liked being gay, that's why I never told you, when I first realized I was gay I hated myself, everyday having to listen to Terry say gays were disgusting and deserved to get AIDS and die, when he'd drag me to a gay bashing I thought all of that is what should happen to me" coldly knowing to say all of this he needed to ignore the emotion behind the words.

Mickey really hated that Ian looked so hurt and angry at the same time so he reached out to grab Ian's tshirt with his hand to pull them closer together. When Mickey felt Ian relax a little he let out a deep sigh as he rubbed his eyes with his fingers and pinched the bridge of his nose and let his hand fall to his side as he looked at the floor adding "when the asshole got killed I still tried to tell myself I was straight but then you moved in and after a year I couldnt lie to myself anymore, I gave up and admitted to myself I was gay and had a crush on you" trying to hide the sadness in his voice.

Ian noticed the sadness in his boyfriend's voice but then he always noticed everything about his boyfriend ever since they began their relationship as he told Mickey "you dont have to do this, you dont have to explain" softly knowing it was probably hard for Mickey to talk about this at all. Ian looked at Mickey pleadingly and he also felt sad that Mickey had these feelings for him for so long and was never able to say anything at all over the years not knowing that Ian also had crush on Mickey.

Ian just wished he knew all of this because he would have helped Mickey accept himself and Ian wished he looked closer or that Mickey just had talked to him about it all. Ian looked at his boyfriend while he softly whispered "I'm sorry for not noticing back then, I wish I did because I would have helped you" lightly not hiding how much he meant those words. Mickey knew Ian really meant it as he looked at him replying "its fine, I probably wouldnt have wanted to talk to you about it anyway" lightly.

Another silence fell before Mickey continued "its only really in the last few months that I'm okay with it, that I'm not disgusting and unnatural and deserve to get AIDS and die, that I'm not choosing it, that its who I am" softly. Mickey looked at the floor again because he wasnt able to look at Ian to say what he needed to say before adding "and its only in the last few weeks that I decided to do something about it, I just want to be happy and not be living a lie" firmly.

Mickey fell silent before adding "you make me happy" not caring that he just admitted that especially when Ian just grinned at him at those words. Ian softly laughed as he stepped closer replying "yeah me too" firmly. Mickey watched his boyfriend take a drink of his beer and pulled Ian right up against him not wanting to let him go at all as a voice in his mind told he never wanted to let Ian go.

Ian stepped forward a little at the movement as he put the the bottle back on the table before he engulfed Mickey in a hug and buried his face in his neck taking in a deep breath as he realized just how lucky he was over the last few weeks. Mickey noticed the change in Ian's demeanor and softly rubbed his hand along Ian's back and resting his other hand on the back of Ian's head wondering why the change in Ian's mood.

They had been here for a few hours laughing, talking and joking and now Ian was all sad and it just made Mickey feel bad too. Mickey just remained silent as he rested his head on Ian's shoulder while tightening his arms that were already tightly wrapped around his boyfriend while softly asking "you okay" curiously. Ian pulled Mickey closer to him even though they were pressed right up against each other and looked at the ground as he nodded sadly blurting out "yeah" softly.

Mickey was confused as he rubbed Ian's back asking "you sure, we can go home if you want" lightly. Ian groaned as he moved his head to look at his boyfriend shaking his head sadly replying "no, I just realized something" not hiding his sad expression. Mickey didnt even hide his confusion and was trying to calm himself down not even looking away from Ian as he asked "what" silently hoping Ian wasnt going to saying things werent working out between them and they were better off as friends.

Ian felt himself softly smile and a soft laugh escaped his lips before he grinned at his boyfriend while mentally kicking himself for freaking Mickey out so he kissed boyfriend intensely. Mickey kissed Ian back and he wasnt complaining especially when Ian's hands were all over him and he just got lost in the smell and feel of Ian all over making him feel wanted and happy.

He didnt know how long they had been standing there intensly kissing and letting their hands roam all over each other in the dimly lit corner of the room lost in their own little bubble. Mickey just hated that he almost whined when Ian stopped kissing him but his lips were dry and he just felt out of breath and seeing Ian staring back at him with a flustered look on his face he knew Ian felt the same way.

They were still glued to each other from the chest down to their feet as Ian silently stared at Mickey and kept his arms wrapped around his boyfriend while trying to get his breath back before he decided to be honest "I know its early to say it but I just realized how much I fucking love you and I just wanted you to know that" firmly. Mickey silently stared at Ian not even wanting to hide the shock from his face as he wasnt expecting that at all.

Mickey looked over Ian's face as he rested a hand on Ian's hip and slid his thumb under Ian's tshirt while he used his other hand to lightly touch Ian's face not even hiding his smile when Ian leaned into it and he knew he felt the same about Ian. Mickey slid his hand down Ian's chest and lightly gripped Ian's tshirt pulling Ian closer to him and he didnt look away replying "I love you too, youre under my fucking skin, cant do shit about it and dont want to" not even caring he admitted that before adding with a smirk and raised eyebrow "just thought you should fucking know and all that" lightly.

Ian laughed as he rested his forhead against Mickey's but didnt look away as he shyly told his boyfriend "never thought I would get to have this, I just realized a few mintues ago this is what I've always wanted and I'm so scared it will end, just dont want to lose it, dont want to lose you" in a sad tone. Mickey picked up on that sadness as he lightly kissed Ian on the lips while pulling them closer despite there was no space left beween them and he stared at Ian replying "same here but you wont lose me, you make me feel free and I didnt ever think this right here would happen, I was so scared you would laugh at me or reject me and you didnt" firmly.

Ian softly smiled at Mickey with nothing but love on his face as he rested his hand on the back of Mickey's neck replying "I'm glad you asked me out" softly. Ian really hated that he never noticed Mickey at all over the years and even though he had caught Mickey looking at him sometimes he never read to much into it at all. Ian softly blurted out "I'm mad at myself for not noticing before because I like you too, guess I'm just mad for noticing the way you would look at me sometimes but never read anything into it at all because I thought you were straight and wouldnt want me in that way" sadly.

Mickey internally groaned wishing he said something sooner while he wrapped his arms around Ian's waist and stared at his boyfriend intensely while slightly laughing "yeah well guess we're both idiots since I thought you would never want me like that too" humoredly. Ian lightly kissed his boyfriend on the lips before smirking at him "I always want you" in a heated tone.

Mickey softly laughed and looked down at the ground resting his forhead on Ian's shoulder so Ian wouldnt see the red tinge on his face replying "yeah I know since you cant keep your hands to yourself for five fucking minutes" even thought he didnt care that Ian never could keep his hands off him and it didnt matter if they were at home or in a bar. Ian noticed Mickey's embarrasment looking at him narrowing his eyes replying "dont hear you complaining" lightly.

Mickey hated that was true but he felt too emotionally exposed for one night so he looked up at Ian as he scoffed "alright enough, I'm getting more fucking drinks" before he pulled Ian's arms off him and he stepped away from Ian with a grin on his face as he walked over to bar for more beer. Mickey looked over his shoulder to see Ian was blatently checking him out and when Ian looked at him with a grin on his face Mickey just laughed and shook his head knowing he could never get enough of Ian and from their conversation he knew it was the same for Ian too.

As Mickey waited at the bar he thought this right now was the happiest he had ever been and as he looked over at Ian who was staring at the table with a stupid grin on his face Mickey knew Ian was it for him and that it was the same for Ian. When Mickey walked back over to Ian who was engrossed in his phone he couldnt help but roll his eyes at the way he felt over Ian but he didnt care because Ian made him feel safe.

There was also a part of him that wished it was Mandy telling Ian she couldnt make it but he thought that would never happen at all. Mickey really hated that his sister kept inviting herself along whenever he was going out with Ian because he just wanted Ian to himself without Mandy hanging around. Even though Mandy had accepted their relationship when she found out and was happy for them both and they both got along better Mickey just wanted her to fuck off because he hated that she was inviting herself out with him and Ian all the time.

Mickey stood beside Ian with his chest against Ian's shoulder while putting their drinks in front of him on the table and he smirked at Ian as he rested his hand between Ian's shoulder blades and slid his hand down to rest on his lower back under his tshirt knowing it would drive Ian crazy. He knew it worked when Ian looked over at him with narrow eyes and a small smirk giving his boyfriend a knowing look as he softly muttered "quit it" so lowly that only Mickey heard it.

Mickey softly laughed as he ran his thumb along his lip smirking "make me" not hiding the challenge in his voice. Ian laughed as he finished with his phone and put in his pocket and turned around to pull his boyfriend into his arms and looked at him as he told him "I text Mandy, told her that it was just us tonight and could she give us some space so you happy now" firmly.

Mickey softly laughed and bit his lip while resting his forehead on Ian's collarbone while he wrapped his arms around Ian's waist hating that he was so whipped for Ian but at the same time he didnt care at all. He didnt care that Mandy would be bitching him out for it too mumbling "she's never going to shut up now" as he felt Ian rub his hand over his back. Ian pulled Mickey right up against him replying "she will, she told me that the next time she invites herself along to tell her to fuck off since she cant read our minds and for me to stop being so nice to her all the time" humouredly.

Mickey laughed before he lifted his head to look at Ian replying "yeah I'll fucking do that and she's right about the last bit" softly not adding youre way too nice for me but he knew from experience Ian would hit him over the back of his head if he said that thought again. Mickey slid both of his hand under Ian's tshirt lightly rubbing them along Ian's ribs not wanting to look away and he didnt hide the want and need in his eyes.

Mickey just felt like he was melting with the way Ian was looking at him with want and need in his eyes and on his expression. Mickey couldnt wait any longer so he moved forward to kiss Ian intensely and with the way Ian was pressed right up against him and touching him all over it just made Mickey lightly groan into Ian's mouth as he forgot all about being in the middle of a club because it felt like they were both alone.

They didnt know how long they had been standing there wrapped up in each other but when Mickey broke the kiss and leaned back he softly laughed at the way Ian followed him but he also didnt blame him for it either since he knew Ian had the same effect on him all the time. Mickey rested his hand on the side of Ian's head and seeing look of frustration on Ian's face he softly laughed knowing he felt the same way asking "so uh you want to get out here" confidently not adding youve been driving me crazy since we got here.

Ian mirrored his boyfriend's expression as he blurted out his thoughts "fuck yes" firmly with a grin on his face. Mickey softly laughed not even wanting to look away from Ian "lets get the fuck out of here" lightly. Ian sofly laughed as he threw his arm over Mickey's shoulder to which Mickey leaned into him and rested his arm around Ian's back as they left the bar went home for the night. When they got back home they went into Mickey's bedroom and shut the door behind them for the night both of them didnt shy away from showing the other just how much they loved each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, kudos-ing and commenting on this story. I hope you enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
